Chapter 8 Lose

Lose

What do you guys feels when you see this word?

It’s just a short word that has 4 syllables, but it means everything. It could be losing someone, something, small things and big things. Losing is kind a sad. I’m a quite lucky girl because I’ve never been losing someone really special that causes a pain in your life. Of course I’ve ever been losing someone that really special to me and means everything to me. I’m losing a guy that I really love more than anything in this world (after my family). Yeah I’ve told you guys in the previous chapter.

The reason I write about losing is because I just lose my phone recently. I know it’s not a big deal for some people, but I’m not talking about the price of the phone but how important the phone is to me. My dad just bought me a new Smartphone that really in these days. At first I don’t think that I really need that phone, but that phone is really useful for me. I mean the internet networking in my dorm is kind a sucks, the signal could be strong or really weak, and that’s makes me kind a freaking out. Who doesn’t need an internet these days, I mean internet kind a everything to me, I could ask Google if I want to know about something, I could ask Wikipedia if I curious about someone biography or anything, I could browsing a recipe if I’m craving for some food), I could ask Google’s brother (Google map and Google translate) if I want to know some place and correcting my English or mandarin. And the important thing is I could really keep in touch with my entire friend around the world, without seeing them face to face. That phone is really helpful when the internet in my dorm doesn’t work. Now losing it feelings like losing everything.

I’m actually crying when I lose my phone, I just got shock. I and my friend were taking a Halloween costume that time. On our way home, we took “angkot” a public transportation in Bandung to go home. When we’re just got inside the angkot, there is something strange about the people in front of me, he suddenly groaning and hold his leg then my leg, I have no idea I tough he really in pain at that time. I’m so stupid that I haven’t realized that he’s planning something to me. He keeps gripping my leg until I’m said we’re getting off here to the driver. I felt frightened about that, and keep talking with my friend how scary he is till we got another “angkot”. When we’re in second “angkot” I realize that my phone is missing, and I’m sure that guy was stole my phone. Then I asked my friend for getting of that second angkot to check clearly my bag (still hoping the phone inside my bag), but there isn’t my phone. I’m trying to calm down when I called my mom, but I’m so upset and feel guilty to my dad because he just bought me that phone. Then I just grab a cab and going to buy a new number (that I could use my old phone) on our way home. I’m really in silent in that cab, my friend totally understands that, she is such a good friend, thanks to Delia.

After I got a new number with my old phone I called my dad and freaking out that I hate angkot and I need my jazz right now. My dad was trying to calmed me down and telling me if losing my phone is freaking me out what if you losing your jazz, you’re going to faint. Yeah I think he’s right, we both know that the crime in Indonesia is totally different than in Singapore (that I still get used to), my sister lost her phone twice but she’s got it back. How lucky she was.

After I’m a bit calm, I called my ex boyfriend. He’s kind a confused and asking why I’m changing my phone number. Then I told him everything with a bit sobbing. He’s trying to calm me down too, like my dad did to me. And he’s telling me that is a lesson for me to know world. The world where me and him are living right now. He said “you got to deal with it, that’s life, you can’t say anything and keep cursing the guy who stole it”. Then I just lay in my bed and keep thinking how stupid I am.

But I realize that if god want to take that phone off from me, then it’s going to happened no matter you’re in angkot or in your own car, wherever

Chapter 7 Showed Up

Showed Up

God is listening to my pray…..

You have no idea what happened in the middle of October 2010. He showed up... The man that I’ve been talking for the last one year was finally showed up. You guys may wonder what the hell he was doing in my life right now.

Yeah... finally he was asking me to be his date on his father’s wedding party. His father is going to marry a girl at that time that means he, his brother and sister is going to have a new stepmother. Before that, his sister already told me that her father is going to marry a girl and the wedding is being held in Bandung. She was asking me to come to the party, but I just don’t feel to come because I thought that there’s going to be an awkward situation with her big brother. Then at that time I decided to not thinking about that party.

Then suddenly, he texted me like there’s nothing happened between us since we were being part. I didn’t want to talk about it either, because it’s going to remained me to the pain that I almost forgot. I don’t know exactly how I felt at that time, I feel happy, upset, exciting and many more. I can’t lie to my own feelings that I do still love him. Then I though he is trying to take my heart again.

After my midterm test has finished, I went to his family hotel, it’s not actually a hotel, and it’s more like a house where his family stayed for a while. Yeah, he asking me to meet his family first to say hi and greet them. I didn’t mind for doing that, I’ve meet his family already, but the things is I GOT A LOT OF BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH. I mean, yeah we haven’t meet for a long time (actually it’s just a year) but I feels like my first time to meet him, so you guys know how nervous I am at that time.

When he brought me inside that house and meeting ninik (his grandmother) : ) .. ninik is so excited to meet me, I can see it. She is so surprised when I showed up, hug me, and kiss me and introducing me to her friends. After that we just talked each other in the backyard because his sister and brother were sleeping, and his father is checking the Sheraton hotel, where the wedding is going to held.

He said that he was so hungry and asking where is the good restaurant in neighborhood. Then I told him that there is a good pancake restaurant near that. Then he was taking me to the pancake restaurant called the nanny’s pavilion which is the most delicious pancake in Bandung. And guess what, there we were like our first date in pancake restaurant. Yeah we chatted, laugh, and joking each other, like we used to. Yeah mostly we talked about what happening when we weren’t together for a year. It was such a good quality time with him and it’s like the restaurant know that we’re having a good time, so they were playing a lot romantic songs (actually not so important to tell, just want to tell you guys).

In the middle of a good time his dad calling him to come home soon, because there’s going to be a praying for asking the good wedding and life after that, called pengajian in our religion. Because I’m not wearing a Muslim dress and not bring my scarf, neither was he, we just sit in the front yard of the house waiting for the pengajian. One by one his family got there, and I got to say hi to with his whole family, which is I guarantee their family is getting curious why am I there at that time. One of his cool aunts is saying like this “are you both come back together? and yelling to his driver that they just got another couple” We were just smiling, don’t know what to say. After meeting his whole family, we just hanging out with his brother and sister, waiting for the praying done and we got to move to another cottage that near to Sheraton Hotel, that cottage called Kartipah. And after taking his family to cottage he drive me to my dorm, and letting me take a rest for a wedding tomorrow.

I wake up earlier in the morning, I just can’t sleep well. The wedding ceremony is going to be held at 1 this noon. I got to make up my face and do my hair, which is I can’t do that by myself, so I went to the nearest hair stylist. Actually I’m asking him to pick me up, but he said that he can’t because there is no car available at that time. Then I just grab a cab….

After I got there (Sheraton Hotel) with my kebaya, my face and my hair is already. He told me that, he just got a news that the wedding ceremony was actually at 4 pm.

Duh…

Me: “why don’t you told me at first time?”

Him: “I don’t know either ayy, my entire family don’t know too, I’m so sorry”

Me: “okay then what should I do now?”

Him: “just wait in my family room”

Me: “okayyy”

Then there we were, me and him in his family room, going to wait for around two more hours with my hair like that. Luckily his family is so welcoming me and made me comfort for being around them, I feel like I already one of them. I spent that time by eating, chatting with his family, walking around hotel with him. Everybody just looked at us, he noticed it and saying that “I think people think that we’re the couple who’s getting married here” and we laughed. “I don’t think so beib, none of bride and groom is going to walking around, 2 hours before their wedding” I said that to him. When we were walking around, the friend of his were taking our picture when I wearing kebaya and he was wearing a broken white tux. I just keep thinking in my heart, why this is happening when we’re not really together. He knew what is in my mind, and saying that god want this to happening, just stick with god’s plan as long as we both happy. “We’re not teenager anymore ayy, we don’t need status to be together, I do still have feelings for you, but I can’t promise a thing for you, I’m afraid I’m going to broke that promise and you’re going to hurt anymore”

His brother calling us to get ready, because everything is ready. I went to his dad and saying good luck for everything and say sorry that my parents couldn’t make it. His father says thank you for everything. Then it’s time to us to walking down the aisle, because I’m not his official family yet, that I walk behind his family with his sister friend.

When we got there, everyone is pleased to be seat and waiting to the bride. The funny part is when his cool aunt asking me like this:

His aunt: “are you both come back together?”

Me: “no, we’re not”

His aunt: “why not? you both are perfectly for each other”

Me: “it’s a bit complicated aunt”

His aunt: “but you do still love him, right?”

Me: “I don’t know (and I just smiling)”

After the ceremony was done, he was introducing me with some of his family that he’s even doesn’t really know who they are. One of his uncles saying “is this your new girlfriend?” “No, she is my old girlfriend that I’ve meet her in Singapore, I told you that” he said. His uncle is just smile, laughs and blinked at me.

His older uncle is asking us (me, him, his sister and friend, and his brother) to get in to room to eat friend rice that he’s been served it for family. I just don’t believe that I’m a part of family at that time. The worst part is when the party is going to start, there comes heavy rain and lightning. It’s garden party, so you guys may know what such chaos there.

The rain really comes all night long, made us (I and his whole family) just want to stay at the room. Before that me and him just walking around the hotel, and meet our old friend when we were in Singapore. After we’re getting tired by walking around the hotel we just came back to family room for just sitting and relaxing for a while. We both just sat in the couch while his family were talking and joking around. Actually we were trying to get some sleep *just closing our eyes, but we couldn’t because every time we were trying to close our eyes, his family was joking so we laugh and laughing more. His family such a good joke making, there we were… laughing all night long with his family.