Senin, 03 Mei 2010

Chapter 6 Dear Fairy Godmother, If You Were Really Exist


Fairy tales always have a happy ending because they had a wish, and they had a fairy godmother to make the wish come true. They could ask for everything, like a true love, being a princess, or come back to the past. Like a fairy tale I also wanted a fairy godmother to exist and ask me for wishes. I wish that if I could come back to the past, I would like come to early 2009, and fix up everything. I know that is impossible, fairy godmother never exist.

Why would I want to fix my 2009?

Because I mess up everything, I mean its look perfect in the beginning, but in the middle and the end it’s terrible.

Actually I don’t want to take college in Indonesia, at first I’m planning to apply to Malaysia, Singapore or Australia. It’s not because I don’t love my country, but I just want to work and live in another country. For me my country is just a place for home, the place that I could escape when I feel not well. I thought that if I graduate in Foreigner University I would have a chance to get a job there. When I accepted in one of University in Bandung everyone said that I should take that. Actually I don’t blame them, but I blame myself to not choosing what my heart says. I accepted in Architecture School (the best in Indonesia, most everyone said that), since I was in elementary school I just want to be an architect, I like to design my own house *in the Sims. I also thought if I move to Indonesia it would be easy to me and my boyfriend to meet and hang out together. So considering of those reason I take that university and ask my dad to pay the fee. The big mistake is my dad spent a lot of money to pay that university fee, I even couldn’t say how much is it. That’s just too much for me, I feel guilty with my dad.

I ask my dad to pay because I didn’t want to take another test to university, I’m just too lazy and not confident with my ability. So I just do the final exam and wait the result while my friends are dying to do the test things. I also thought that if I absolutely confirm to study in Bandung, my boyfriend also trying to applying all university in Bandung, then we would easier to meet. But I was wrong my boyfriend actually want to stay away from me, so he could dump me easier, I was just too stupid not even think of that. I made a big mistake by against my future dream.

Everything was getting worst when August comes, when I’m about starting the college and he dumped me (as I told at chapter 4). He dumped me when I need someone to share my first week in Indonesia. As you know it’s never been easy when you’ve been in another country for more than one year and then you were moving back to your country. It seems arrogant, but everything seems perfect and comfort in overseas, we need time to adapt for a new place. I know it seems spoiled, but this is the way I feel at that time, I had really hard time. My heart still broken, my parents are far away, I have to deal with a new place and condition, I don’t have someone who really close to me, I can’t go anywhere, and the architect things are driving me crazy. I was freaking out at that time, but I said to my parents that everything was just okay, because I don’t want to hurt them. I was alone, I didn’t even close with my housemate, I really stressful and don’t know with whom I talked about or what I’m supposed to do.

Now 2010 comes I wish that I could fix everything up, but in the beginning of 2010 I have a bad news. I didn’t pass the studio 1, which mean I really stupid and I have to stay longer in studio 1, and which mean I impossibly graduate in four years. If I couldn’t pass the studio 1 what about the other seven studios. I thought that I did all my best to do all the assignment which is I know my sketch is so bad. My friends were shocked too knowing that I didn’t pass that studio, they said that I deserve to pass it. I was so down at that time, my GPA also low and disappointed. I feel guilty to my parents that I couldn’t make them proud. I wasted lot money at the first time, and now I couldn’t make it.

So now, I’m applying to some government university, choosing the social subject, and hoping that god will help me to fix every mess up that I made last year by let me be accept in one of those university And to make my parents proud.

"Dear fairy godmother, if you were really exist and kindly give me a wish…. I want my 2009 back

I would applying to Foreigner University

I would dumped my boyfriend first when he was cheating behind my back

I would not asked my dad to pay that much money

I would applying to Government University in Indonesia as a backup plan

I would not give all my heart to someone who dumped me easily"

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