These days I just realize that I’m totally different with the others, especially with people around me
"When I want something, people don't want that thing. When people want something, I don't want that thing"
It happens mostly in my life, I mean like what’s on my mind is totally different with others mind. I know that nobody exactly same, even identical twins must have something different. We couldn’t blame people who don’t have a same mind, demand, and expectation with us. God created us in a different ways, place, time, and condition. All that only we can do is just follow our desire or just be fake.
When I was a teenagers (the ages below 17) I don’t want being different. I had to do the same ways like my friend did. At that ages, I felt like being different was such a disgrace, so I prefer be fake than be freak. I would rather not go to somewhere than going to by myself. I would rather hold my desire than I have to do that with by myself. That was I thought when I was at that ages.
After the time goes by and especially when I was live in Singapore, my mind is changing a lot. Singapore is individualist country, they have a line like this “Mind Your Own Business”. That line means no matter what we do is absolutely none of your business. In Singapore people could do whatever they want to do, they can sit in cafe or restaurant, they could watching in movie theater , and they could walk around in shopping mall or park by themselves. So I used to be like that enjoying my quality time by myself. When my friend couldn’t make it with me I just go out by myself, when I am so curious about one movie and nobody wants to watch it. I know that sounds weird, but I did it. I did the things that nobody wants to do that by themselves.
Since I moved to Bandung, everything was totally different. In here being alone without company is odd. Most of my friend really shock when I told them that I used to go out by myself if I need something and nobody wants to company me. They think it’s pathetic and odd, but I’m deal with it. Which is I mention that I’m different with the others so mostly when I asked them to company me to go to somewhere, they couldn’t make it. I don’t know why, sometimes I just asked them to company me to watch movie, eat something, or just hang out and they have so many reason to refuse me. I have no idea, is there something wrong with me or it’s them. Sometimes I feel it’s not fair, I mean like when they asked me to company them and I think it’s not a big deal to do that and hoping that in other time they will company me when I need them, but mostly they couldn’t make it when I asked them.
The reason why I came back to Indonesia and take a degree here is to having a truly friend and not being individualistic anymore. But I’m wrong, nobody care with me here, I mean they even don’t want to sacrifice to me by company me. Indonesia used to known as a country whose having a most friendly people, but I don’t see it anymore even my own relative. I have a lot friends and relatives in Jakarta but nobody seems could help me when I need them, they are too busy with their own business. I don’t blame them, I just shock knowing that this is Indonesia nowadays. Then I thought that I’d rather be in Singapore if the condition just exactly same. That is why I regret with myself by not just take a degree in Singapore.
Unfortunately, I used to be taking care of myself by myself, so I don’t mind if they are too busy to company me. So now, I do what I want to do with or without company, and I don’t care what people say about me. I don’t afraid anymore for being different and odd.
The lesson is never count on people and waits them, just do it by yourself. And never be afraid for being different
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar